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THE POWER OF EMPATHY

Writer's picture: Lisa WilderLisa Wilder

Updated: Dec 19, 2024


empathy
THE POWER OF EMPATHY




 

What is it about empathy that makes it so hard for some to embrace, especially in emotionally charged situations, and why is it so hard to find empathy for those we do not agree with or those who do or approach things differently than we do?

 

Empathy does not mean agreeing with someone.  Not at all.  It just adds another level of understanding to a situation.  It allows us to momentarily open enough to drop in to someone else’s perspective and understand how and why they do things the way that they do.  It involves stepping out of the cycles of judgement, comparison, and competition, and shifting to noticing with curiosity.  It helps take away some of that extra noise and distortion, and allows that energy to go directly to the root of conflict and shift ourselves from asking why does someone do or think the way they do (judgementally), to instead noticing and considering some of the factors that have affected the way they think and behave.  It can shift an environment to be more conducive to solution building.

 

When we use empathy, we can disagree with someone or something, without needing to take them out at their knees.  We can display kindness, even in the face of adversity and conflict, which in turn can shift an environment to be more conducive to solution building. 

 

Empathy is not always an easy skill to cultivate, but through following a few simple steps and incorporating them into your daily ways of being, you can indeed get there.

 

1.     Be willing to make a shift from judgement to curiosity.  Through curiosity we become more open.  We are able to consider differences as interesting, instead of assigning a label of good or bad.  This can help temper defensive stances which helps us move towards understanding.

2.     Take some time to put yourself in someone else’s shoes.  We often only know a sliver of what someone else is going through and the circumstances behind it.  What is their life truly like, and what other hurdles, emotions, and life experiences have affected where they are now?  Take that time to find out more from an unbiased perspective.

3.     Make a point to look at similarities, rather than just differences.  Find that common ground.  It’s always a much better place to start from and helps us to remember that we may have more in common than we originally thought.

4.     Listen and share with the objective of educating and being educated.  Be willing to open your mind to new information and see different points of view.  As Nelson Mandela has said, “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”

 

Together, we have the ability to create a more caring and better world.

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