The Distress of Discomfort

The Distress of Discomfort

Have you ever noticed how quickly we try and push away the feelings we don’t like, or the lengths to which we will go to avoid sitting with them? 

From early on in life, most of us have this way of thinking engrained.  Fake it til you make it.  Put on a happy face at all costs.  Don’t think about that!  Distract yourself.  Tuck those “negative” emotions away.  Turn that frown upside down!  Out of sight, out of mind.  Get over it!  Of course nobody wants to feel pain, but what if I told you that discomfort can be a gift?

Discomfort is a response to pain and fear.  It is there to teach us something.  If we avoid it, we miss out on its lessons.  Furthermore, our fears will keep coming back until we effectively clear them and put them in their place.  We cannot do that until we can feel that discomfort and know it in its entirety.  Until then, we remain victim to those pains and fears, as they run amok creating anxiety and hindering our ability to cope as effectively as we could with life’s challenges.

As author Haruki Murakami says, “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.”

And what is it that can directly affect our suffering?

Our resistance to that pain, fear and discomfort of course!

So how do we do we minimize this suffering?

Lean into the discomfort.

Soften to it instead of running or numbing.  Invite it in and hold space for it to show you why it is there.

Approach your feelings with curiosity.

Why has this uncomfortable feeling bubbled up, and what is it trying to tell you?

What are the sensations it brings on?  Allow yourself to notice and feel how they present in both your mind and body. 

Welcome the discomfort with an attitude of acceptance and openness.

Really allow yourself to notice and feel, without trying to change your experience.

This will also help you to notice patterns in your thinking, feelings, and actions.

Validate – don’t judge!

Despite what some people think, we cannot control our thoughts and feelings any more than we can control the weather.  Be kind to yourself, and don’t judge yourself for the feelings that you are experiencing.  It is how you deal with those feelings that counts.

Growth

The gift.

What have you learnt?  Can you see any patterns in what affects your emotions?  What insights have come from this experience? 

Challenge Yourself

To stay open.  Always.  All of life’s experiences carry aspects that are both bad and good – be willing to embrace and learn from them both.

Our discomfort is meant to protect us and to warn us when something does not serve us.  Through openness, self-awareness, self-reflection, and allowing ourselves to lean into and learn from that discomfort, we can free ourselves from the chains of our fears and allow ourselves to live our most enjoyable lives possible.

In love and light,

Lisa